Dating is odd to me. I do not really know what my motivations are. If I actually find someone. What then? What will we do? How different will our relationship be from a regular friendship (besides you know what). And should it be?
Should you be wanting to do other things with your SO then a very good friend?
What I’m getting at is, have you ever thought to someone: “They don’t really want a relationship they just want a one particular friend with benefits.”
I don’t know if I’m rambling over here. But I’m really having difficulty digesting this one.
Edit: The reason I ask is because I’m thinking to start dating again but I don’t know my end goal.
Do you want a relationship, even if it means you’re only friends? Does sex have to be involved to make it a relationship?
You’re on to something here.
Can a relationship even be considered a relationship if it is just friends? If it can, please explain how that works. I’m not pulling your leg here, I really want to know.
Also, is sex a confirmation of a relationship or just an added bonus?
I know I just answered your questions with questions. But that’s why I’m here on no stupid questions.
Similarly, what counts as a date?
If I get a bottle of wine, make dinner with and get cozy on the couch with my best friend… is that a date? Or are we just hanging out? What if we kiss?
I feel like it comes down to intent, and if that intent is shared and understood. Which is why communication is so important in any relationship.
I tend to take my friendships as seriously as my romantic relationships, because, often there is no tangible difference.
I’ve had so’s that were asexual, I’ve had friends I fucked but never “dated”. I’m still friends with most of my ex’s. Sex is sex but the relationship depends on how you define it between the two of you. A label is a label, what matters is that both people feel comfortable with the dynamic and are on the same page as far as what the relationship actually is.
Love comes in a myriad of forms and can evolve overtime, so often living in that grey area. Getting bogged down in trying to label and define what something is or isn’t will just make you rigid when reality comes and you’re in that grey area.
A poster above responded with something about building into a common future which also helps differentiate but can’t really be used as a hard line. I’m actively working into a common future with my best friend and partner but I’m only dating one of them. Devotion, trust, respect, vulnerablity, consistency, and common morals/boundaries seem to be the things I look for when i’m looking at someone I’m considering to be a partner.
You can have a relationship without sex, it kind of depends on what either person is looking for, but a non-sexual dating relationship is probably a bit rarer nowadays. Me personally, I have a high libido, if I’m dating somebody, I’m hoping it leads to sex at some point. That’s just me though, everyone is different.
A sexual, dating relationship can be a sort of temporary phase of the relationship that usually transitions into something else. It starts off running hot, but it can either burn out (end) or things kind of die down and become like a candle (monotonous), or somehow they build the flame up into a campfire, or even a raging sexual inferno. It just kind of depends on the couple. Usually though, if it becomes a longer term relationship, then other things and responsibilities come into the picture (home, kids, finances, etc).
There’s no actual definition. People often have all sorts of unconventional relationships/friendships. You have have sexless marriages, friends with benefits, etc.
Typically in general, most people are most comfortable when relationship moves towards having sex it often becomes exclusive relationship (in general, for most people). Some relationships might become exclusive and dating for a long time without sex. Some marriages even are platonic and maybe one or both have sex outside the marriage.