• 1 Post
  • 25 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 30th, 2023

help-circle




  • Thank you. As woman with autism, it’s weird. Women nts, some tend to unconsciously expect me to behave like a woman. They operate with stereotypes, assume women should be emotional, touchy feely, into romantic comedies, etc. So when I’m logical, to the point, talk about math, science, some can’t compute. And some guys, they expect me to behave as a stereotypical female, treat me as such. Then they realize I’m not, am logical, etc, and their demeanor changes, start treating me as one of the guys.

    I’ve met compassionate, emotional men, and analytical nerdy women. Just, so weird, how gender becomes such a big deal for some.



  • Been thinking about how quantum physics are connected to chaos theory and the properties of closed dynamic systems.

    Will spare you that. Part of it is the human mind doesn’t have the processing of all configurations, all the possible states of an entire systems, simultaneously.

    Humans do have abstract thought, critical thinking. We can observe, record data, notice patterns, trends. By chaos theory, humans discovered they could write math equations to describe the behavior of complex systems. With quantum physics, humans trying to figure out how localized realities in a system related to the behavior of system as a whole.

    We use scientific method because we can’t comprehend the infinite. Math equations are shorthand, a trick we use to make up for our shortcomings. Science and math is awesome.





  • I have central auditory processing disorder, capd. Seeing a visual is instantaneous, clear, easy. People speaking is torturous, brain can’t process, requires lot of work, confusion, translating. For me, visuals are external, but even external sounds become internal, physical. Activation of the limbic system, anxiety, fear, can lead to hearing voices. Prefrontal cortex, I think, is where brain stops internalizing sound as stress, fear. Why some people with adhd who hear voices take a small, mild dose of Ritalin at night. Ritalin means less limbic, less fear.

    Not an answer to your question, but I think different areas of the brain process sound, visuals. Different mechanisms. I’d be interested to know if someone could shed light on this.



  • Phone got stolen last year. New phone, installed instagram, tried to log into account, but locked out.

    Instagram tech support told me I either had to: 1) take a photo of myself, they’d check if it matched any selfies in my account, or; 2) I had to associate my Facebook profile.

    I’m security conscious enough to not post selfies online, nor use Facebook. Goodbye instagram.




  • KFC in Brooklyn. Empty restaurant, staff noisy, raucous in back. Ordered chicken, looked kinda pink, tasted weird, but ignored instincts, kept eating, cuz hungry.

    Next week I spent in apt puking guts up, sweats, feverish, feeling like death, huddled in a ball, head pressed against wall.



  • Practically, what voluntarily checking myself into a psych hospital did: was given a temporary case worker who worked for the hospital. She assessed my needs. She called up a social services agency, who came to the hospital to meet me. I was placed in a shelter short term upon discharge, while new case manager worked on finding better temp housing. Was given 3 weeks of meds on discharge. Case manager connected me with an agency that helped me apply for ssi.

    Whether you have insurance or not effects the care you receive.

    If you voluntarily 5150 yourself, you will not be allowed to buy a gun afterwards.

    A good hospital will be mostly safe, group activities, people who come in, teach meditation, mindfulness, art stuff. Made awesome connections. Lot of creative people in psych hospitals.

    Bad hospital, 2 days waiting in an overcrowded room, shoved, yelled at by staff, violent patients, screaming, chaos.

    In my area, there are crisis stabilization places thatve emerged to fill a void. People who don’t need to be hospitalized, but need help. 2 week stay, more freedom of movement, day trips, can bring and keep your laptop, phone, wear normal clothes. But the tone of these places vary depending on who’s there. Sometimes, hostile, violent clients who make other people feel unsafe. Week later, different group, Uber chill and zen.

    If you have ptsd, are fleeing domestic abuse, or have autism, any of the above places can be challenging.



  • I’m old enough to have seen fads, social movements, come and go, technology changing constantly. I’ve learned one must adapt, things always change, and one should be careful about what one gets used to, what one depends on. Sometimes you have a good thing, then it dissappears. What matters is how you respond. I’ve learned to prepare for emergencies, what would I do if this is suddenly taken away?

    Reddit was where I realized the online world has changed a lot the past 2 or so decades. Back in the day, we’d actively curate, use rss feeds, find a bunch of sites we liked, and create our own customized feeds.

    But by the time of reddit, we were no longer doing that work for ourselves. I started to notice a pronounced echo chamber effect, less variety, seeing same stuff over and over.