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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 6th, 2023

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  • I also suffer from insomnia - I regularly get 3 hours of sleep per night, and rarely get more than 6 (rarely as in 1-2 times per month). For a week and a half or so, though, after a death in the family, I was getting between 0 and a half hour per night, with obviously no deep sleep.

    I developed severe ataxia (I couldn’t walk without a cane), I lost the ability to speak coherently and it would take me minutes to form a sentence. I couldn’t follow conversations, and my appetite decreased to the point where I was down to about 50-100 calories per day (eg, I could sometimes manage a can of coke).

    When your brain starts to shut down, things really go south pretty fast. I managed to kickstart things using those meal substitute drinks (which I’d consume by chugging it in one go), and eventually my eating and normal 3-6 hour sleep pattern came back, but I was probably about 24-48 hours away from needing an ambulance.

    Luckily I live with my partner and although I put them into a panic, I didn’t have to manage the house/pets and just took sick leave from work. Even after going back, it took some time to return to my normal level of working. At the peak, I would have been absolutely incapable of operating if I lived alone.








  • I saw James Cromwell, the actor who portrayed Zefram Cochrane, on a flight into Albuquerque about a decade or so ago. He was wearing a colorful kufi hat, and he’s so god damned tall I could easily see him from like three rows back. I was 99% sure it was him, and when I saw him again picking up his luggage I became 100% sure. He’s a freaking giant.

    I have a very strong introvert aspect to myself. I very badly wanted to tell him how much his portrayal of Cochrane influenced my life and my career, but I chickened out. For the record, I am a research scientist who now works in big tech.

    I think what I loved about him was his flaws. I especially loved how his self-awareness of the chasm between the person he saw himself to be and the legend that grew around him caused him to freak out and panic. I also really understood his whole self-destructive and self-sabotaging stage. And despite all of that, he won through, and Starfleet was the end product.

    I love what you’ve written and I think it speaks to the ethos Roddenberry built into his universe to show us what is possible, but I really loved the idea that it grew from this flawed human before it blossomed.

    That’s not to say the vroom vroom person was correct. Quite the opposite. A mirror universe Cochrane reimagined as Elon Musk would have lead to… probably the mirror universe but worse. It was more about the struggle possibly being worth it, despite how you feel about yourself and even if the end is something you can’t even imagine.




  • You are the problem. The right wing nut jobs are in charge because chucklefucks like you can’t be fucked to give a good goddamn about anything outside of a narrow view in which you’re the goddamned misunderstood oppressed motherfuckers. You’re the “stop making race an issue” crowd. You’re the “women have the same rights as men now and should shut up” crowd.

    I hate to break it to you, and I know you’re not going to hear it. You’re the person Martin Luther King was talking about in his Letter from Birmingham Jail. At the time, there was a “call to unity.” There was a perception that black Americans shouldn’t be protesting. That they should wait for the changes they want to just happen naturally. That if they stopped making such a fuss about equality, it’s just happen. Let me give you some quotes, in case it’s been awhile since you’ve studied it.

    “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly … Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.”

    I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

    You not only have a shallow understanding - your understanding is deliberately shallow and you revel in it as if it gives you some kind of intellectual validity. It does not.

    And the first PC I built myself out of the parts I saved up for was a 286, bitch. The first game I played was on a Bell Labs Vax on an actual teletype using a coupler with a rotary phone.

    It’s okay to be a nerd. We make shitloads of money and people are interested in what we say. You don’t need to be a dickweed.


  • Yes. Fuck you.

    Fuck you for not giving a fuck that a shit ton of people do fucking care that queer people exist and are actively trying to drive us out of of society. Fuck you for not caring that the standard rule on the right is now to refer to the LGBT community as pedophiles - criminal rapists of children. Fuck you for not caring that people are showing up with fucking AR-15s in the children’s section of libraries to defend kids against us.

    That’s what fucking Pride is about. Pride is about saying No to shitheads like them, but also shitheads like you who have the privilege to not care.

    So, yes. Very much. Fuck you.