Can confirm. Am Sagittarius; am asshole.

The instructions are to put your own oxygen mask on first before aiding others…

e: ducking autocorrupt

“Holy false equivalence, Batman!”

Trump won’t do everything right, but he’s taking an axe to the federal government, and that is always a good thing.

You’re either five and the phone should be taken away, or about to become very aware how fucking stupid this take is.

It’s difficult to let the judicial system move through its processes so slowly

4+ years of waiting for Garland to do fucking something, and you suggest we wait longer?! So, the time for action is right after the noose is around or necks…?

He only has to wear one goggle when he swims in his pool.

“HK, why do you keep calling me ‘meatbag?’”

our citizenry inarguably shit the bed quite thoroughly here, and now we need to lay in it.

That is them taking their share of the blame. Perhaps reading comprehension isn’t your strong suit?

You get to pay for commercials.

“Set the tone!”

I’ve worked with one, and the stereotypes are accurate. Dude was a walking disaster area that I’m 99.99999999% sure relied on date rape to get laid.

Hey, don’t worry! The new administration just axed all the infections disease investigators! Sleep well! No testing, no investigating means no problem!

Nice punctuation, Grammar Police.

Oh no! Are you being held here against your will!? Blink S.O.S.!

OR don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split ya on the way out.

I had to do a driving gig for work around last Halloween. The minivan i rented had a control console I’d expect to find on the starship Enterprise. It took me 10 minutes of YouTube to figure out how to turn off the damn parking brake. Fuck that shit.

They’re the group that Trump used to black bag protestors during the George Floyd protests and were the guys stuffing kids into cages last time he had the reins.

“We’ve got one that knows their worth! Stuff 'em in the oubliette before they infect the others! Ya want unions? This is how ya get unions!!1!¡!”

Fuck that. This “high road” shit is what led us here in the first place. He dead names constantly. He’s a “big, stwong alpha,” he can take it.

I had a modicum of success on OKC. In 2013.

“I am not black like Barry White, no I’m white like Frank Black is.”