Major fucking cunt.

What is this service, exactly? Do they host games on powerful PCs for you to play remotely or something?

My former boss (Canada) kept a bag of ephedrine bottles in our produce cooler. Dude was twitchy as fuck. Very bird/dinosaur-like.

He would take several per day and chase them with coffee and energy shots. Then he would complain intermittently about vomiting blood due to his ulcers.

It’s the warm blend of its cozy art style, ambient audio, and the unparalleled soundtrack. You go through the grandpa intro and observe his strangely thin bed all over again. Then the Jojamart corporate hell scene. You open the letter and reading it even for the fifteenth time gives you an immediate sense of peace and relief, because you know you’re going back to the valley. It’s all good vibes from here.

The music fades away and you’re greeted with a quiet scene in the mountains, watching a grumbly coach bus speed past the sign, and you’re left with a moment between you and the countryside. There are a few trilling birds and one lands in the sign. You arrive at your stop and immediately that uplifting little song starts playing and Robin’s cute-ass face appears, probably with wood shavings in her bangs, and she still has that voice you crafted for her in your head after all these years. The mayor will too. She’s an old friend.

She ushers you away to your first long view of the farm. Now, you’ve already been here several times in the last decade, but that music. That warm, orangish pallete. That overgrown little cabin on that rugged patch of land. The music grooves on and right away you get butterflies in your stomach over the prospect of getting to be here everyday, cleaning it up and carving your own little life and operation. There is a sense of joy and freedom, and a million possibilities laying under that brush-strewn mess that used to be a field. It never fails to bring you right back and feel that magic again.

It’s like the developer perfectly captured our most innocent human desires in a tiny bottle.

Stardew Valley is a beautiful love letter from Eric Barone’s soul. I don’t want to see it fizzle out either. I’m a straight male but I would marry that man based purely on the gift he gave us.

Fallout is excellent.

My daughter’s pre-school just sent out a message this week that the kids are preparing for a Christmas concert. It asked parents to help them practice the lyrics in the meantime and then provided a copy of that atrocity. There’s like five other popular Christmas songs I can think of off the top of my head that are religiously neutral, but we couldn’t do Up On the Housetop, could we?

There really is no escaping her.

I also want to punch MAGAs and their dorky red hats, but you don’t really get to tell them to remove them. That’s their dumb fucking choice. Not worth getting booted off a plane for. Your energy would be better spent walking past them multiple times during the flight to fart.

It irks me greatly that it takes place ~2,000 years before the main series, but architecturally and technologically they appear to be on par or perhaps even ahead of the 3rd/4th eras. The entire game just feels like a giant fan-fiction blunder. There is a near zero risk of death in the overworld due to an obnoxiously low difficulty, and the class system being bound to stupid themes like Templars and Dragonknights rather than just using the original skill/magic trees is one of the worst parts of the game to me. Base classes could have easily been signs of the Warrior, Mage and Thief, and then specialized to your hearts content from there.

Other than being one giant wasted potential in general, this is reminiscent of ESO. That game was packed full of expensive mounts (among a million other things) that didn’t fit in with the lore of the Second Era whatsoever, though fans of the game will certainly argue that the lore has been so muddied by Zenimax at this point that maybe the Second Era really was packed full of superheroes with glowing eyes, dragon wings and mechanical unicorns.

Prices were also designed so that no matter how many crowns you purchased, you always had some bullshit amount left over that couldn’t buy anything of real value, driving you to purchase even more crowns so that your leftovers aren’t wasted. I don’t think any of them were this expensive, but definitely just as frivolous.

I’d say Bandits, but he’s only worthy of the Renegades.

Putin belongs in Yantar like the swamp-fuck he is.

Hate when that happens…

I wish I could go back two years and tell myself that soon everyone will hate this bucky asshole as much as I do.

How many Olympic-size swimming pools would it fill?

Sometimes you can find scimitars in there. You can chop a camel right in its hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of those things.

Not going Eggo was their first mistake. In my experience, when it comes to frozen waffles, there is no room to fuck around.

As someone who can barely approach the edge of a 3-story parking structure, I would come unraveled on one of those balconies.

I actually can’t pee with other people in the room, so public washrooms are a nightmare. But I learned that I can pee real easy in them while I’m sitting down to take a shit. So anytime I’m in one with other people, I just chill in the stall and pretend to take a shit. Might even fiddle with toilet paper after a while and flush just to keep the charade going.

Well, through that I learned that sitting to piss feels waayyyy fucking better. Especially in the middle of the night after crawling out of bed. I’m married, have a kid, and no longer care if people know I sometimes sit to pee.

I get it. My wife and I just bought a home in Canada this summer and the pressure is very real. The prices just keep climbing and there is so much competition for everything that comes up on the market. Throw in periodic drops in interest rates and you feel like you have to pounce now or you’ll never get one.

We were very fortunate that the sellers chose us specifically because of our family dynamic and the vacancy their own family was leaving in our little neighborhood of playing/communal children. We got the house at asking price and are well within our budget, but things were looking a bit grim there until fate worked itself out. People put shit-holes up for 400k and half the time people buy it anyway. If they don’t, the price drops by 15k and it’s sold the next day.