This could only work on pagers sold over there. There’s no need to panic guys! Much larger iPad devices are probably totally different and we should totally trust that no manufacturer would ever make any such thing happen in any other country. And this would also probably not be an issue to worry about in airports since those things don’t actually fly. Right? …ok sir, belt, Shoes in this bin, your completely disassembled laptops parts on these bins, and fake teeth on this Tupperware. Thanks!

The supremes: oh! Yes! We are on your side ISPs! The MPAA and RIAA will now be allowed to sue individual users directly bypassing courts.

Have fun! You got them boys! You got that 98 year old grandma! Get her house! And that minority girl trying to download the new Beyonce songs? Deathrow! 1 per song! All the single ladies our ass! You wouldn’t download a car! We’re the Supremes! Watch us! But first Trump is president starting now, and poor kids shall get no food in school! They wouldn’t be poor if they got food! Oh and women…we did the abortion thing already darn!..no vote for women! Marriage age 6 now, overruling all states laws.

You know, if I have no issues with this or that ad campaign, why would I have an issue with ads on noodles? Why stop there?

Ads on chips! …new Doritos with e-paper ads on every chip!

Pornflakes! Every pornflakes comes with you!

Beans and rice? Yes and corn! All products can be stamped with ads! Imagine how many Viagra ads you can stick to a bowl of rice 🍚!

I could even rent my dick head to pornhub for relevant ads for my wife!..the new IKEA dinner set! Wait hold on!, how many spoons? Gr gl grgrgrgr…hold on wait I think comes with a gr gl grgrgrgr… Ok I don’t like this channel! Sorry, the Internet, it is for porn.

Why should we all not expect our next Amazon device to be just a friendly brick with an ad on it?

Because, unless you can easily open the thing to see inside, there’s enough space in side of all new phones to blow our leg or our faces off apparently.

Now thanks to this, phones don’t fly. So hey, you’re going to Hawaii? Better ship your phone separately on time so it gets there before you do. You want flights to be safe and not full of these dangerous bricks. Ofcourse, screw the mail man who will have to drive from the Continental United States over to Hawaii. It’s a water truck… details details…

Should I buy a new device for my kids and or family or myself? Nope unless the thing is transparent like an iMac.

An iMac is an old model personal computer sold by Apple, where the chassis was mostly translucent with bright colors.

Have you ever wondered why even keys not made from brass smell the way they do? And why they are often sticky? Vance! Get some help! Stop fucking our couches full of lost keys!

BDSM… even cats love it! 😂

My noodle 🍜 has little ads built into the noodle blades. I have to eat in my room. I’ve been watching porn so most of my noodles are pornographic. Anyway, don’t look at my noodles! I get them for free with the ads.

Nobody said how big.

I drive by the Boeing strike every day and I do my part and I hunk twice quickly! Do your part guys! Hunk! It matters!

It’s not your job today, but it could be you there tomorrow at 8am wet and soggy from the rain and fog that continually falls in the PNW.

Honk like you just crashed on that big barrel of stuff burning. They burn stuff to stay dry and warm. It’s cold out here…not yet but give two more months and it will be freezing temps.

It’s a misdemeanor, let him go! If he tries it again, let’s all together figure out what to do. But for the love of gorsh, leave his second amendment intact!

Hollywood is going to make that soo dramatic! Extending the 4 nano second event into what might seem like an eternity…4 seconds tops…“Actually guys, I think we might have a…”…silence. such a Sumner moment. Oh hey, can we get rid of putin? I have an idea but we’re going to need lots of toilet paper, concrete, rope, and a baseball bat! Oh this is gonna be so good! Pinatas are fun! And a tranquilizer dart! We need that or the paper won’t stick. You don’t want a mushy pinata!

What part of the smoke is ruzzia? You gotta excuse me, I’ve never been to an exploding 🤯 country like that.

A pager is a rectangular device which is able to display the phone number of someone calling your number. Several thousand years ago all cave men wanted to get one. They instead drew paintings on walls by spitting chewed chemicals from their mouth. Later on we indeed had some which made people look way smarter and important than they really were. Now we have cellphones which can transfer billions upon billions of phone number worths of text and image spam and ads. Sometimes people send their cave paintings to one another. But they are strictly for the purpose of sending ads for things we should buy to prevent the economy from collapsing under the rich and powerful.

Oh shit… Let me call the police about this! Sure thing! Right away!

Wait a minute!

LOL! You think I’m that stupid? You call them! Here, take my phone! I’m just gonna go hide behind that 1" thick steel wall! Oh, should we just run over to the station? It’s safer that way.

Let’s use the car as an example… Imagine you must get to point B from point A following all the rules of the road which prevent the 🚓 🚨 police from chasing you and shooting you until they run out of bullets. Well then you will be on highway 5 at some point if you’re in California, so let’s assume you can’t go faster than 85mph but at 5pm or 8am you can only go 2mph. So why would you buy a car that can drive at 5000mph is you don’t want to? I totally agree with you on that point. Why eat ice cream 🍨🍦 if I don’t want to…and it costs 10billion times more than not actually eating ice cream?

Same for cpus. Why get a new CPU if they put some bullshit things in it that your Linux can’t use because they are made specifically for windows 11 and no one wants to use windows 11. Friends don’t let friends use windows 11. Heck I wouldn’t drive over a cat and then let the cat get windows 11. Only let the people you hate the most actually get windows 11. Like your boss. Fuck him. Let him get windows 11!

All of us together!

They do love their…Rrrrrrrrrs. as in strawberry 🍓 has 8 RS in it sort of way… investigation results: 3 monkeys are behind the whole thing.

Could it be?

If you can’t pay 2.9 dollars, then you must leave the city slowly on foot? You must plan the trip so you can get to the next McDonald’s before dying of thirst.

But if you can’t plan? Your options are cop shoots you, or you die?

We should ask Mr GPT to see what we should do. Mr GPT has been trained 🚆🚂 on millions of lifetimes worth of data. Surely he would figure it out? How do I know it’s a he and not a she? I just assumed a dip shit like that would be a guy.

He’s in Cancun at the moment, but if you leave a message… that’s it, that’s the end of the previous sentence.