I wonder if a forum with real names would cause people to be more respectful.

Permies.com requires people to use their real name (at least something that sounds real) and there’s very little toxicity there. Although how much that affects things I don’t know, as the mods are very active, and quick to ban.

Many towns use Facebook to post information about meetings, elections, events, etc., and they don’t post it anywhere else. Unfortunately you can only look at a page for so long before they make you log in. So without an account you could miss stuff.